One Little Word, 2025

Here I am January 16, 2025!  It's been a long while from January 2020!  Where have I been?  I've  become a doubter again besides being busier up into 2023 when Steve and I moved to a smaller place in Fort Wayne again from Little Tippy in Leesburg, Indiana for 34 years!!  We were in Fort Wayne for 17 years after I married Steve and we had 3 sons, now Eric, 51; Tim, 48; and Ben, 45.  Now I have 6 grandchildren, Lucas, 20; Noah, 18; Lillian, 18; James, 16; Evelyn, 11; Isaac, 5.

I cannot recount the last 14 years!!  I still journal, but I still use the same writer's notebook from 2017.  I guess I have just lived more instead of writing more?  Not much of a writer, but I am more of a reader now!!!

OLW comes to my mind  this new year and thus, my blog, Clay Fragments will inspire me!  I choose:

"STILL":   calm    quiet   hushed   wordless    listening     stopped    peaceful    

It took me 3 days to prove this word to myself with the help of the thesaurus and process of elimination.  "Still" came to me in the shower as ideas sometimes do!!!  ⛆

How Does One Leave a Gift of Memory?

  

Pictures, sketches, paintings

Written words, conversations

Books

Painted Rocks

Recipes

Clay, wood, cloth creations

Plants, gardens

Thoughtful gifts

Sharing joy and sadness

"The problem with people is they forget that the most of the time 

it's the small things that count."

--Said by Finch in All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven.

Posting vs. Journaling For Me

Posting for me takes a longer time to write with much revising and editing.

Posting makes me seriously consider what I write about and how I present the information.

Posting is for show, and I'm not a showy person as a rule.

Posting is for celebration/revelation.

Journaling comes more quickly without much revision and little editing.

Journaling bares more of my soul without too much self examination.

Journaling could be any subject I choose for that day without worrying about the outcome.

Journaling is private, and that's who I am and always will be.

Revision

I started to create this poem on September 10, 2018 and revised it on June 5, 2019. 

 It's now 

Last Revision--January 26, 2020.

Fall is a colorful stepping down into coolness,

sighing as each leaf falls.

Winter is frozen in time with fearful and cold thoughts, 

But living life with boundless stories and books. 

Spring is stepping up, bursting with life and coolness,

Witnessing the rebirth of all things living.

Summer is bright, vivid color, basking in warmth and 

Celebrating with wonderfully green and positive thoughts.

OLW for 2020

There was no hesitation or delving into a list of possible OLWs or using the thesaurus this year to refine my search.  

I've been saying this word to myself and to my husband and he to me all year.  After the first of the year, I kept hearing this word when I talked to people.  

"FOCUS" is my word for 2020.  

Aging itself requires one to go slower/focusing for safety. One could fall when one turns around too quickly or not focusing on that extra step or not lifting one's foot high enough to avoid the throw rug becoming your worst enemy.

Recipes confound us in our 70's.  I share this knowledge with friends who have entered this decade. I need to focus so hard to get a recipe right even if I have made the recipe before!!  What is that?

I can't find things that are right in front of me!!  Mercy!!  

Those are some of the negatives of losing focus.

 ***

Focusing has a positive side, too.  

Focusing will keep you at arms' length from the negative going on around oneself by looking at an object in motion--an object making its way to another location and what happens when it gets there.

Focus on the activities had with friends that created laughter.

Focus on what is good and warms your life.

I could go on with the negatives and positives, but I think focusing will keep me positive and alive.

Happy 2020!

Many a Moon

It's that time of year when I visit my thesaurus to rally around my choices of words for OLW 2019.  This year my word came to me after thinking a little bit harder since it was time to do so.  "Time" just popped into my head, and I liked it right away without much thought.  It's a wide open word just like most of my choices.

I am 71 until May.  A very good time to think about time.  I finally opened the thesaurus online and came up with my title.  I found many other synonyms, of course.  The time allotments of a year struck me, of course--season, date, second, minute, hour, day, week, month, a year.  Also, past, present, future.  My word of "Bit' from last years OLW appeared, also.  I liked it but didn't get very far with writing about it.  Writing has definitely taken a back seat these days.  It's the usual--Who cares what I write!? (Side note and off subject--at 71 I'm allowed to do this since no one will judge me. I'm still reading which is good.  Love those books that you can't put down and look forward to continuing.)

I also liked the synonym "clock." I love clocks.  Digital is okay in a hurry but it's just what it is--numbers with no face. That face gives me the spatial aspect of a day--12 daylight and 12 night time. I also see mealtime reflected.  Some people may see coffee, snacks or nap time.  Changing times for a season is only really felt by literally turning that knob behind that clock or whisking the hands of the clock to a new position.  It also allows for that extra grumbling when we do this change--sets us up for the change the next morning.  My watches are jewelry with a real purpose, not just glitter.

Clocks involve math. Add and subtract just looking at the clock.  And is it 1:40 or 20 minutes to 2:00? Military time involves counting and mind boggles the average person to rely on their fingers to count! Young people find watches and clocks mysterious numbers.  How do you really know what time it is by looking at that face!!  I love it!  Elders now have special talents!

Don't forget clocks and traveling.  Time changes.  Isn't better to look at a clock's face and figure if it's night or day somewhere?  Also, remember Big Ben in England and the effaces of history that continue to celebrate the clock.  Staring at a clock on the school wall helped us escape those last few minutes and got us ready to run somewhere else!

The synonym "age" came up first on the list of synonyms!!  Mmmm.  Do you suppose that's what I'm thinking?

So what does time mean to me?

Time is flying.  When you're young, time goes so slowly waiting for the next exciting moment or thing to do.  I move slower now because I can.  So does it take twice as long to get things done?  Sometimes because for one, I enjoy slow, coffee-filled mornings reading, being on my cell/computer, staying in my robe, sitting on the porch in warm weather--the best part of any day now!

 Am I enjoying myself more, so time does goes faster?  With retirement, I do choose what I want to do when I want to do it most of the time for now.  I am thankful for being given that privilege.

How much time do I have?  No one knows, so what must be done to make it all count.  Hopefully, I have done most of my homework through my life which is caring for other people.  I have that selfish side just like everyone else.  I can only take so much and then I can explode or hide away to reclaim my wits.  What do I really need to do for the rest of the time?

I need to get rid of the muddle, the junk, the stuff no one cares about except me.  I've heard even with daughters that they don't want old, antique stuff anymore--minimalism is the name of the game.  I purged my own mother's home.  Not much is left of it--little jewelry and some still very good old pots and pans.   I've tried to do a little genealogy.  Who will go on with it?  Who will I designate my folder and pictures to carry on the family treasure hunt?

I've made some new friends the 30 years since we moved from Fort Wayne.  I want to go back there because of family.  Leaving my new friends here will be hard and leave me at a loss for laughter.  Since I can still walk, talk, and drive, my life will not end but when will all that slowly leave me, too?  I don't want to go any further than my early eighties.  It's not a death wish, but too much goes wrong after that, and one becomes a real burden.  A wheel chair is not an option for me either.  I have very good cancer insurance which I'm really getting tired of paying for.  So if cancer comes, I will do what is good for me and those who I love.  Do not cry.  It's a fact of life.  I really have lived a good life.  Life is never easy, but all I ask now is a warm bed and being painless to a degree. I have a high tolerance for pain, by the way.  Coffee, chocolate, popcorn, cheese, good bread, pasta, and salads wouldn't hurt either.

It's time for my children and grandchildren to soak up the knowledge and find the goodness of life.  If you can't find the good yet, then think about the small things of life because that's where it is for all of you because the world is crazy.  I love you all.

This is suppose to be a little post on Time. Are my posts on Time finished?

Only Time will tell.

Sense of Goodness

HOMEMADE

Beat the brown and white sugar grit

with the smooth, soft butter--

"clickety, clack" go the beaters against the aluminum bowl.

Crack the eggshells,

adding each gloppy egg one at a time 

to the mix with a tiny splash of vanilla.

Add the white, powdery baking soda

softly to the bowl as the beaters,

"Whir, whir, whir."

Scoop the fluffy, dusty flour

cup by cup, leveling it with the

back of a shiny, silver butter knife.

"Hum, hum, hum" from the beater

as more and more of the quiet

white powder is added.

Time to stop the whirs and hums

and take to the nut grinder

to pulverize the pecans.

Sprinkle chocolate chips and

pecans over the soft bed of

of the biscuit-colored batter.

A tablespoon chugs through

the dough to combine

the collective ingredients.

Shh!--(licking of fingers)

Plop a teaspoonful of the mix 

onto the time worn tray and bang it

on the oven shelf at 375 degrees.

Door closes and timer set
while eyes begin to peer
through the shiny glass oven door.

Mmmm.........  

Smell the warmth of baked sugar and dough,
leaving the feel of crispy cookie edges
and the taste of chocolate goodness.

Bit by Bit

BIT

One Little Word for 2018

Fragment by Fragment

Piece

Chunk

Slice

Pinch

Flake

Crumb

Chip

Snip

Sliver

Morsel

Section

Dab

Portion

Sample

Smidgen

Dollop

Dumpling

Driblet

Atom

Portion

Bubble

Snippet

Peanut

Sprinkling

Trifle

Dot

Shard

Stone

Tear

Pea

Piece

Section

Binary

0

1

Morsel

Taste

Small

Speck

Seed

For the love of the thesaurus which I always have had, I want to cover the capacity of one small 3 letter word to convey the magnitude of its meaning and the many small things that can make a difference.

I'm not a person of large accomplishments but feel comfort in the world of miniscule.  I have had no life of grandiose but bits and pieces of love, joy, remorse, and comfort.  

On a small scale, I experience life.  I have been known to compare myself to a mouse--seeing much without being seen, snacking along the way, and feeling the joy/heartache of many.  I just want to plant a seed, not construct a monolith but just a sprinkling of ideas along the way.

I am just a BIT of this universe. 

It's the small things after all that really matter at some point.

Number 7

The One Little Word pursuit began early this year.  I started in December rather than after the new year arrived.

This is my 7th year choosing OLW.

    

     2011-glass

     2012-treasure

     2013-rock

     2014-savor

     2015-define

     2016-be

     2017-strength!

I considered courage, energy, warmth, health, acceptance. In order to enable any word to work for me, I must have strength. Strength in body, mind, and soul.

"Be" has been my favorite OLW so far.  I wanted to just "be."  It was a light and airy word.  I needed a big break from "define."  This word conjured up realities and unhappiness.  I said things I maybe shouldn't have said, but these words and thoughts were always there ready to come out.  So I became myself with "be." The harshness remained but softened.  Now what?

The word "acceptance" seemed like a word that expressed "surrender."  After all the work I had done with "define," I decided this was not acceptable!  I wasn't quitting.  I must continue on from what I have learned and experienced.  Acceptance is what got me in this bind. 

I'm getting older every day.  My mind is not as quick, nor is my body.  Not moving in mind and body is a slow death before the heart stops.

When I do my exercises, I remind myself of walking better to be with my grandkids, shopping when I want, and taking care of myself.

I feel stronger just thinking about my new word. 


Happy New Year!

"BE"

It's easier than define.

It's positive and free.

Bravely be who you are.

Accept what you cannot change.

Change what you can.

Easier said than done.

Being can come with tears.

It's a reality, an acceptance.

It is what it is.

Black

Never thought of black--

Not in a million years.

But there he was--

Glossy black, cuddly-like, smart.

The angry dog across the way growled,

"Pick me instead."

Black won us over and over.

Soon to be beloved.

"Shadow" became his name--

Chosen in childhood long ago.

Wagging tail, loving nature, and smiles 

As years go by.

Now blind, legs weak,

Soul still full of life.

Walking, boating,

Sleeping by the fire.

Love you, Shadow.

You're one of the best!

Going, Going..............

I know it's not
"Good-bye" to summer yet.
But I feel the pull--

Cicadas chirp throughout the yard.

Crickets fill the night.

Daylight lessens.

The porch sun sits differently.
Flowers go to seed.
Leaves start to fade.

Robins go north to visit.
Sunflowers reach their highest.
Grass grows paler.

I love you, Summer.
Stay with me longer this year and every year.
Love, love, love you, Summer.

The State of "Being"

     It's May already!

I'm not writing much.

Maybe just because I'm "being." (Not a good excuse!)

"Being" is okay for my OLW.

Rather than defining (although it will always be there because that's me!),

I'm trying to enjoy what is going on right now.

I've always thought about what is next, not savoring what is "now."

Life is hard.

Life is good.

Life is connecting.

Life is for the taking.

Too bad so many don't appreciate what life holds

In spite of all the formidable that surrounds us.

Formidable won't go away.

Be in the moment, and be thankful.

Be here.

Be there for others.

Be positive for everyone's sake.

I'm thankful for the positive people in my life

And the small things that touch my heart.

Be in the moment.

                                  

BE

One Little Word is what I have today.
It's the shortest one yet.

BE.
Just BE.

Last year I tried too hard
To DEFINE every little thing.

This year I will just BE.

BE me.
BE true to myself.
BE in the moment.
BE present.
BE there.
BE aware.
BE quiet.
BE kind.
BE in tune.
BE alive.

Can't wait to embody 2016.

Moving On

An acquaintance told me one day in March that defining sounded like soul-searching.  This comment caught me by surprise. But after 10 months, I now know that it is.

Looked up "soul-searching" in thesaurus.com:

contemplation, reflection, self-examination, meditation, self-analysis, heart-searching,

self-questioning, deep thought, self-absorption, introversion, and brooding.

Defining is:

deciding, illustrating, spelling out, identifying, laying it out, naming, calling a spade a spade, determining, detailing, explaining, interpreting, elucidating.

Whew!

 

This year's word "define"  has enlightened me once again to consider what is important to me, what I need to change, what I need to accept, and when to be quiet now that I have spoken out.

I've gone through this before, I'm afraid,

but at a different stage in my life.

Defining is learning and re-learning

as is life.

Time to make a new list of words that speak to me.

Time to stop brooding.

Time to forge ahead.

Bring on the words!

 

 

 

Being True to Myself

I find myself alone when I "define." 
This is a place I have been many times in my life.
It's not good or bad.
It really makes me feel in touch with myself--being alone.

I'm not a hermit but I could be.
I need interaction and conversation,
But I do need my aloneness.
It rests/empowers me.

Maybe it's the "being true to oneself" voice.
I feel lucky to have that
But have strayed many times,
Resulting in agitation, regret, and redefining.

As I age, I find that I can connect to myself
More readily and survive the agitation.
Why does it take so long for some to get it?
I've always been a slow learner.

"Defining" is definitely the word for me this year. 
It's taxing, provoking, awakening, and journeying.
I'm searching Ancestry.com for some answers
And settling into some kind of acceptance.

It's an up and down journey this year.
It must be taken alone,
And I'm good at that.

Late Bloomer

"Defining" is hard work.
Why did I choose this word?
It's only the end of April, and I'm tired.
I don't want to "define" anymore.

I don't want to think/analyze anymore.
I can't change anything.
I guess I'm not a changer.
Not a rebel, not brave.

I know better now about many things.
But what good is it?
I want to sleep through the nights.
I don't want to define, think, stand up.

I'm not getting anywhere, not empowered.
I'm tired of thinking.
I can't think fast enough to defend
My thoughts and actions anyway.

Everyone else seems to be on track.
Isn't that what Facebook tells you?
I think too much.
I need to quiet the outbursts.

Tired.
Wondering.
Creeping back into myself.
I always was a late bloomer.

MUSINGS

Aging Means:

Defining who/where you really are.

Savoring more as you go along.

Realizing no one is looking at your seasonal decorations.

Enjoying your seasonal decorations because you and only you like
       them.

Listening to he History Channel more than ever.

Grabbing hints from the Food Channel instead of looking for the
       actual recipes.

Copying bird calls in the yard.

Talking to the birds and plants.

Relishing the antics of grandchildren because you're really not in
        charge.

Seeking out young people who still laugh out loud.

Sleeping in.

Avoiding to make early appointments.

Drinking the morning coffee until 10:30 and then some.

Laughing at yourself (a must).

Taking liberties you would have never done before.

Voicing your feelings (now being called a "brat").

Understanding like you have never before.

Staying up late.

Visiting the bathroom more at night.

Worrying more than ever because you have the time.

Eating and drinking before 8:00 p.m.

Appreciating the little things more and more.

Wanting to be swept away to new and last chance opportunities
          while still sleeping in your own bed at night.

Celebration

Long over due.
I notice some celebrate March
As New Year's Day.
I do, too, thanks to Ruth.

How else could I realize
I haven't been writing
When I use to write
Every day this month.

I celebrate Spring.
I celebrate the New Year.
I celebrate Writing
Because I think about it all the time!

Always thinking about March
And my writing friend Ruth.
Happy Spring!
Happy celebration!

DEFINE

From SAVOR to DEFINE.
I think I had that backwards.

The two are related.
After I DEFINE I do SAVOR what I find to be true.

Maybe SAVOR lead me to DEFINE.
DEFINING though is scary work.

TRUTH comes from DEFINING.
What to SAVOR? What to walk away from?

Take yourself seriously, quit hiding.
Be ready for what is revealed.


Thanks to Tammy's mom Marcy, I still have heart!