I've lost 20 pounds in the last year. I've gone up and down my whole life. I'm one of those that has to talk myself into dieting. Sometimes it takes a long time to get there.
I'm older now and realize less weight means better health. I also want to go out thin is what I've been telling my friends. I want to be finally thin and looked upon as a woman who is in control of her life and body. I've maintained keeping the 20 pounds off since last fall. Winter is a great time to give into carbs, comfort foods. I did not.
Today, it's a beautiful sunny, warm day compared to the snow we keep having. I was very busy all day and my husband made chili. Perfect. As we sat down, he asked me if I wanted some of the Kahn's bologna I had bought for him. I said I would eat the bologna only, no bread. Bologna is not part of my healthy eating, but without bread, it's okay for today.
As he came to the table, I noticed he had cut the bologna sandwich he had made into halves. How cool is a sandwich when it is sliced in half! And a bologna sandwich, too! We were raised in the 50's and 60's with bologna as a main staple. I don't eat it now as a rule--bad, bad, bad for you--nitrites and nitrates. I took a bite and then two and then finished the whole half. He made himself another sandwich and cut it into triangular halves. What is he doing to me? I ate another half of a bologna sandwich--a whole sandwich with bread! I also had a whole cup of chili. Then I had two homemade choco chip cookies which I made and froze and was left over for a week.
I plummeted to the bottom! Why had he and I done this today?
I know why now. Tomorrow, my husband is having minor finger surgery to remove a cyst and see why his finger is reacting to the cyst. Instead of talking about tomorrow morning and getting to surgery by 6:45, we are eating comfort foods together--bologna sandwiches, chili, and cookies. We chuckle, finish eating, and watch the news. It's minor surgery, but we always think about where we are in the scheme of things--our latter years together.
We're ready. We won't sleep, but we're ready together for tomorrow.
This is such a lovely moment. I love the way you framed it with you weight loss and struggle. You took me by surprise with the surgery. The love was wonderful to see.
ReplyDeleteYour story is such a STRONG and POWERFUL SOL, onde I can connect to in a personal way and as a wife, mother, and teacher. I've been there - on the night before surgery with my partner - manytimes. It is never easy but going together through life - makes it easier. BTW, I love your posts - please keep writing.
ReplyDeleteI hope tomorrow goes well for you and your husband, Tam! I can picture the two of you eating together (yeah, we've been discussing imagery in class! ;) )--and it's beautiful. Some of this simple things in life are just oh-so-good!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you...praying for you and hubby...
I hope things go smoothly tomorrow with no worries. (And that includes NO WORRIES about what you ate today either!) Sometimes it's okay to splurge...and it's an especially "approved" splurge when it leads to writing!
ReplyDeleteRuth
I really relate to this lovely post. All will be well tomorrow -I'm sure of it. And don't beat yourself up for the meal. It happens. You have shown that you are a strong woman who is in control by keeping the weight off. I have lost the same 25 lbs. probably 6 - 10 times in my life. Most recently it was 2 years ago and I kept it off a whole year and a half. I've put on 10 - and am determined not an ounce more - time to get up and move again. You keep at it too!!!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck tomorrow...and glad you treated yourself tonight!
ReplyDeleteGood luck. Things are bound to be okay. You high will be in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteTam, I can hear you say, "What is he doing to me?" I laughed. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Glad you shared a special moment. I can hear Tammy cheering for you two. Glad you shared something special today.
ReplyDeleteBest to you tomorrow, Tam. When it's something you "have" to do, it's not easy, no matter what. I know you will do fine because you do, but know that all of us are rooting for you. I think it's both clever & perceptive to reflect upon your eating, and then to regret it. I don't blame you, I'd like a bologna sandwich too at times, especially when stressed!
ReplyDeleteTam,
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed with your change in healthy habits and love the "go out thin." It made me laugh. I think every once in awhile we probably are entitled to a little comfort. I hope everything goes well.
I had to smile with your bologna sandwich. I grew up in the Oscar Mayer days..."My bologna has a first name..." My grandma grew up in the depression. One of her favorite stories was of going to her grandparent's house. They'd cut her a thick piece of bologna, put butter on bread, and make her a sandwich. She was always millions of miles away tasting that bologna and sitting with her grandparents when she told it. A little comfort in a time when they didn't have much --- but they had each other.
Who knew bologna could do so much? ;o)
Cathy