The list began this month: begin, refresh, regain, pursue, re-generate. None of these said what was really on my mind. I read more blog posts.
I came across Linda Baie's blog Teacherdance.org labeled #Mymustreadin2014 and 2015. One book she wants to read is called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I bought it for my Kindle. "Someone wrote a book about introverts--the real me?" I thought. Who am I really, and what do I want to accomplish this year?
I came upon a poem from Jama Rattigan's blog, Jama's Alphabet Soup, jamarattigan.com. (01/09/2015 Friday Feast). The poem by Barbara Crooker is called "AFTER THE HOLIDAYS" from her new book Small Rain. I bought that book, too. She writes poetry appreciating the small things in life.
Crooker's words expressed the mood I was in with the cold and snow ending the holidays. The word "define" then jumped out at me. She referred to the new year and once again looking at our bodies, defining/firming our muscles. Only I didn't think of my body or muscles--that has always been a challenge my whole life, new year or not.
I have already spent the last year savoring and deciding what's important in my life. Is "defining" over kill? I have a tendency to think too much sometimes and miss the "moment." I'm also known for being blunt. That scares me. I don't want to hurt/offend anyone. I do want to make a difference but at the same time embellishing "This is the way it is." Rambling again.
Oh, my, "define" seems so strong of a word. Do I need a word like this to "name," "identify," "illustrate," "decide," or "spell out" what I really want this year. Maybe I need a word more lighthearted, spirited, sunny, or merry. But I didn't choose them.
I will standby the word DEFINE, however. Maybe it will surprise me.