Late Bloomer

"Defining" is hard work.
Why did I choose this word?
It's only the end of April, and I'm tired.
I don't want to "define" anymore.

I don't want to think/analyze anymore.
I can't change anything.
I guess I'm not a changer.
Not a rebel, not brave.

I know better now about many things.
But what good is it?
I want to sleep through the nights.
I don't want to define, think, stand up.

I'm not getting anywhere, not empowered.
I'm tired of thinking.
I can't think fast enough to defend
My thoughts and actions anyway.

Everyone else seems to be on track.
Isn't that what Facebook tells you?
I think too much.
I need to quiet the outbursts.

Tired.
Wondering.
Creeping back into myself.
I always was a late bloomer.

MUSINGS

Aging Means:

Defining who/where you really are.

Savoring more as you go along.

Realizing no one is looking at your seasonal decorations.

Enjoying your seasonal decorations because you and only you like
       them.

Listening to he History Channel more than ever.

Grabbing hints from the Food Channel instead of looking for the
       actual recipes.

Copying bird calls in the yard.

Talking to the birds and plants.

Relishing the antics of grandchildren because you're really not in
        charge.

Seeking out young people who still laugh out loud.

Sleeping in.

Avoiding to make early appointments.

Drinking the morning coffee until 10:30 and then some.

Laughing at yourself (a must).

Taking liberties you would have never done before.

Voicing your feelings (now being called a "brat").

Understanding like you have never before.

Staying up late.

Visiting the bathroom more at night.

Worrying more than ever because you have the time.

Eating and drinking before 8:00 p.m.

Appreciating the little things more and more.

Wanting to be swept away to new and last chance opportunities
          while still sleeping in your own bed at night.